This song always brings me back to early last year, when things back then were still the same. I'll experience that rush of adrenaline I get when I wake up early in the morning to the smell of rain and the sometimes stiff and biting morning breeze, and that indescribable feeling when I prepare myself for work with your songs playing softly from my speakers. Wonder at the beauty of dawn, the sense of peace that beautiful mornings bring me, bliss because I was awake to witness the sky lighten up and the world wake, and not forgetting the wisps of sleep still clinging on. Altogether a heady mixture.
But now things are changing, and we can't go back to our comfort zone. Whatever happens, we'll work together and see where this takes us, oui?
Gentle mornings. Gentle gentle Dawn. I love.
Like what you said, this song is us, to the nines.
The Way I Do - Marcos Hernandez Your kiss, your smile, your mind You're sunlight in my eyes I miss your breath on my neck When we whisper in the night
Didn't wanna want you Didn't wanna need you so bad Didn't wanna wake up And find that I was falling so fast Didn't wanna need you Didn't wanna need anyone Now look what you've done
Now I can't go on without you I'm naked, I can't fake it. And I'm not that strong without you Never thought I could love you the way I do Way I do...
Your touch, your skin, can't believe the way you let me in Don't rush tonight, I need you like the ocean needs the tide.
Didn't wanna want you Didn't wanna need you so bad Didn't wanna wake up And find that I was falling so fast Didn't wanna need you Didn't wanna need anyone Now look what you've done
Now I can't go on without you I'm naked, I can't fake it. And I'm not that strong without you Never thought I could love you the way I do.
I always thought I would stand on my own Climb a mountain top all alone Relying, depending on no one Now look what you've done
Now I can't go on without you I'm naked, I can't fake it. Now I'm not that strong without you Never thought I could love you the way I do.
Never thought I could love you Never thought I could need you Never thought I could want you, baby The way I do
Never thought I could love you Never thought I could need you Never thought I could want you The way I do
I love you I need you I want you the way I do
I love you I need you I want you the way I do ` Let's keep it this way.
I love walks home. Solitary, quiet and leisurely walks along the park connector in beautiful weather, with the breeze in my hair, the sun and the shade of the trees. No traffic, no cars, no hustle and bustle of life, and no hurry to go anywhere. Pure Me-time. As always, walks alone gives me time to think.
Jodi Picoult's books, no matter how sappy they are, are always thought-provoking. Having just finished one of her books (it was The Pact this time), I was still caught up in Chris and Emily's story, and was mulling over the big L - How does it feel like to love someone like that your whole life? Is it possible to love someone that much? Can I possibly love someone that much? - when inevitably my thoughts turned to "Have I ever loved someone that much?", and BAM from there it was a one-way trip down the memory lane.
The first person I thought of was you. Unsurprising, since I was walking down the stretch of park connector I remembered walking with you. A simple act of chasing away those boys. However, it was more than that. It was a moment of truth that shone right through everything else. Perhaps it isn't - no scratch that. I know it isn't, cannot be the same now, Mr Big Guy, but it was the truth then, pure and simple. And for that I thank you.
And then my thoughts turned to growly.
You know the feeling when there are memories you want to remember? You re-enact the whole moment in your mind, wanting to live through it again, but the happiness sort of falls short of expectations and the whole thing becomes anti climatic, because at the back of your mind you know that somewhere along the lines you had a hand in making the moment come through; you hinted and gave clues, you made things easy. You had expectations.
Well I was thinking, remembering my moments with growly. Pure, untainted moments of delight and bliss. The time at the beach when you swung and twirled me round and round you, enclosing us in a circle of love, radius approximately 150cm. When we cha cha-ed and samba-ed and danced silly dances together with the waves. When I fell asleep watching the sun-rise with you. Then there was the time when you cradled me in your arms at the bus stop, tucked my head under your chin and sang Oliver James' Greatest Story Ever Told to me softly. And then there was another time when you came to hall unannounced at nearly midnight, just so that the next day I wouldn't be alone on a relatively early morning train to the airport. I was having cheerleading prac and you didn't know where the dance room was and didn't want to interrupt, so you just sat outside at the bus stop alone in the chilly night, reading a book in the feeble light to pass time, and basically nearly froze your ass off. I didn't know you were coming and I was talking to you on the phone, and I didn't recognise you until you were almost right in front of me, still talking to me on your phone.
Moments to cherish. Thank you for giving me your love, Wei. You're just simply splendid.
You know, I actually hoped that the park connector wouldn't end, so I could just keep on walking and walking, thinking and remembering. I really love solitary walks.
I almost gave in to tears of nostalgia when I sat down at the piano. It has been such a long time. Too long. Too long since I've taken out my dusty music scores, too long since I last swiped away dust on the piano cover. The keys felt insensitive and heavy under my fingers - signs of disregard and neglect.
It really has been a long time since I've last made music, last moved with music. The piano - crescendo - fortissimo - and back to piano, cantabile, gentle, gently, fingers gently caressing the keys was like a balm to my soul. The shaping of music. The gentle ending of a beautiful phrase that feels so right. Feel, feeling music.
How did I ever thought I could live without making music? I've already lost a part of myself with the discontinuation of banding, and so no, I'm determined to keep my piano playing. Singing is good and fun and all, but somehow it is not the same. Playing on the piano can never match up to playing in a band too, but it was a part of me ever since I was 5, and I know now that it will always be a part of me, no matter how hard I try to ignore it's existence.
Now that I think about it, I don't think many people knew about the devastation and turmoil you caused. In fact, I think they still don't. But boy, they do leave an impression, even now.
In Marketing, we call this thefirst-mover advantage.
Okay break's up. Bath, an hour of the Marketing Textbook, (let's hope that I will not fall prey to Harry Potter again) then to bed, all before 1am. Wish me luck!
I know I ain't supposed to blog. I sat at my table, turned my laptop on, turned it off, then turned it on again. Heck, I need to remember this. I want to remember this, and here's what it's all about.
Dreams. That was how everything started off, wasn't it? With high hopes and dreams. But it was mostly dreams, when it came to you. Last night I saw it all again. Saw you sitting with the usual group of people in a charming little cafe in an unknown location, white wicker tables dainty chairs and all. Saw you sitting exactly how you sat at the back of a classroom some 5 years ago, surrounded by the same few people, one leg propped on another with that cocky stance casual charm unshakable confidence, jaunty little waves and all. Except this time it was different, undeniably so. This time I knew how it all went, how things were going to turn out. This time I was older and stronger.
Age does do things to the heart and the mind, doesn't it. It cracks those rose-tinted glasses scoffs at fairy tales burst dreams rips all that naiveté apart but you know, after having taken a step back and looked at the complete picture, I think I prefer the real world.
We were young once, but whether or not I make my mark in this world, make something out of this life for myself or mess it up big time, I'm determined that all that foolishness and wishy-washy nonsense stay where it should - in the past.
Nothing matters but you my love And only God above Could be the one to know exactly how I feel I could die in your arms right now Knowing that you somehow Would take my soul and keep it deep inside your heart
It has been so long, but whenever I listen to this song, I'll always get shivers travelling up and down my spine. Delicious ones, of course.
Hello world. Time seems to be speeding up so fast so fast it feels like I'm being left behind. Hall camp is in three day's time, and its only ending on the 4th of August. I collected the keys to my room today, and I'm only gonna shift my stuff in on Sunday. I need to matriculate by the 3rd of August but I don't know how I'm supposed to do that when I'm in hall camp. I got driving lessons on Sundays and I hope lessons during the first week of school wouldn't be that important, cos I need to go for somemore driving lessons and then its driving test on the 17th and pleasepleaseplease let me pass cos there's too much at stake.
University is coming up at such a tremendous speed its freaking me out.
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Okay I started watching VJ videos on youtube and all of a sudden I'm missing VJ again, especially after watching the class video.):
05S43, you guys rock.((((((:
Heh I know I've posted this once, but I'm still going to post it again. Hee.
